Words by Matt Huxley
“Wear your elastic-waist pants,” came the PR invite. It was as if a shining beacon of hope had opened up ahead of me. A halo circled and angels the size of Dawn French started singing Hallelujah. I was off to a Burger launch party.
Naturally however I’m not some peasant off to my first rodeo. I’ve attended some stellar media launches in my time. But never for my favourite food (burgers), and never for Ribs n Burgers. This epically cool restaurant has its roots in South Africa and has stores in Fortitude Valley and now Woolloongabba.
Walking in, I’m immediately surrounded by friendly waiters plying me with diet cokes and thick shakes that have a consistency of quicksand. It is only by applying my considerable sucking skills that this tasty bevvy is able to make it up the straw.
Then the entrees came out. Piles of Haloumi smothered in roasted cherry tomatoes, spicy chicken wings with barbecue and ranch sauce, chips and sweet potato chips accompanied by the tastiest chickpea and jalapeño sauce. The list goes on.
After a brief respite it’s time for the main course. A sizeable burger is placed in front of me. Beef patty, bacon, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, avocado and a combination of special sauce and BBQ sauce combines to make a gastronomic delight in my mouth. I’m also pretty sure I’m the only one to finish my burger (#goals).
Mid bun munch, the ribs are placed on the table. Pork, lamb and beef each with its own sauce and accompanied by coleslaw and beetroot n feta salad. We are all so stuffed that we can only manage a brief sample of each before admitting defeat. I can definitely recommend the lamb and beef. Melting off the bone, they were absolutely delicious.
Now I am someone who prides himself on his eating ability. Sizzler loses money on me (probs why they’re going out of business). But I was well and truly done. Stuffed. Food baby on the way.
So if you want an experience like me, make sure you pop on over to Ribs n Burgers at Woolloongabba.
855 Stanley Street
I’m off to digest. RIP Matt.
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